This Week in Non-Sports News

Yesterday, The Associated Press quoted Keith Richards as claiming to have “snorted (his) father” in an interview with NME. Reported the AP:

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

However, today Richards’ spokesman came forward to clear the air, saying he was only joking about the snort.

LONDON -- Keith Richards was joking when he claimed to have snorted his father's ashes along with cocaine, a spokesman said Wednesday.

"It was an off-the-cuff remark, a joke, and it is not true. File under April Fool's joke," said Bernard Doherty of LD Communications, which represents the Rolling Stones.

Perhaps Richards feared reprisals for desecrating a corpse, or perhaps he really didn’t snort his father as he previously claimed, but we here at SteelSkins are still left wondering, “What’s his dad’s street value?”

In an effort to shed light on this snorting debate, SteelSkins took a quick office poll to determine if Richards was joking or if he really did snort his dad. The results:

Richards was only joking. 0%

Richards actually snorted his dad. 0%

Richards was only joking, but had his dad
died in the ‘70s, he would have snorted him. 100%