Other Things Bill Belichick Has Been Accused Of

Stealing signs from deaf kids

Producing the Faces of Death series to get a read on the Reaper’s tendencies

Videotaping Michael Vick’s hand signals to his dog (sit, attack, kill, rape, die, thrust, parry, spin!) and using them against Vick when their dogs threw down in the pit.

Stealing and then flashing the gang sign that led to the melee that got Joey Porter shot in the ass.

During their all too brief love affair, Bill Belichick as a prank put Ben Gay in Shawne Merriman’s shorts—the origin of the Lights Out dance, which Merriman turned into an expression of defiance, only to have it thrown back in his face thanks to Marty Chokenheimer and the dumbass defender who didn’t drop a 4th down pass.

Bootlegging numerous movies to supplement both his income and that of his poorly paid players, who were just thankful for a trip to the movies.

Compiling a frame by frame analysis of the original that was instrumental in the remake of Psycho.

Videotaping performances of Bill Hicks that greatly facilitated Denis Leary’s stealing from him (Hey, if Rescue Me hadn’t descended into such stupid self help self indulgent twaddle, I wouldn’t be saying this--plus Belichick had a cameo on it.)

As a promising lad, produced the grainy, deliberately bad quality film that turned Matt Damon into Michael Corleone in the Good Shepherd.

Obsessively videotaping his wife in bed in order to capture her orgasm as he screwed her. Despite his wife’s pleadings, he refused to set the camera up on a tripod because he needed to keep flashing to the digital clock to capture the duration of every stage of her arousal. Finally he said fuck it and got Tom Brady to do the honors while he focused on the camera. He was very pleased with his footage, and so was his wife. Tom Brady found it a refreshing change of pace.