Sunday, January 13, 2008

I, Dennis Northcutt, Am a Professional Pass Dropper

I, Dennis Northcutt, am a wide receiver for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I used to play wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns. And to this day I just don't understand why it's so important to catch the ball.

Catching the ball is hard, I know this. Believe me, I've tried. It's hard on the QB, too. People look at me, and say, why did you drop that ball? And I look back at them and say, how many perfect pass patterns have I run, wherein I was wide open, that went unacknowledged? The pass didn't even go my way!! And no one goes back to David Garrard, or, say Tim Couch, and asks them, why didn't you see Dennis out there? That fly pattern was a thing of beauty! And they might say, in reply, well, we ran the ball that play, but my retort is one and the same: Change the play!

But the real change needs to be made at the NFL level. What if wide receivers no longer had to catch passes? What if the quarterback just had to hit the wide reciver? That would make things much easier, on the both of us. And defenses, too! Because if they hit the ball, then it's their's! What a beautiful game that would be, with me running free like a gazelle, concentrating on my movement, with no concern in the world to turn back into the lights and try to bring my useless claws to around that fragile pigskin. And think of the pigs too! Maybe we could play without a ball!

For I am the T-Rex of football.

Editor's Note: Dennis Northcutt is widely hailed by Steelers fans for the easy TD pass he dropped in the Steelers/Browns playoff game in 2002, a game the Steelers did not deserve to win because for some reason the secondary, led by SS Lethon "Lee" Flowers, could not but look up for the ball without falling flat on their asses. Northcutt reprised his pass dropping performance as a Jaguar last night against NE, dropping 2 passes, one of which would have enabled the Jags to score a TD instead of settling for a field goal.

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