Friday, January 05, 2007

a movie review

okay, so it's not related to football, but...

so I watched a movie the other day that is pretty much a stylized porno. it's called "Lie With Me" and stars some chick who looks like a redheaded sister to Elisha Cuthbert (Lauren Lee Smith) and some dude with a big nose who was in the OC at one point, as well as the remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (Eric Balfour). both are pretty much buck naked throughout the entire thing (side note complaint: while her character doesn't seem to own a bra—which is good—it shows him sans pants more than it shows her sans pants—which is obviously not so good). it also features a ridiculously small amount of dialogue, and instead features voiceover narration and mood music (think "Brown Bunny"). also like "BB", I'm convinced that the female lead actually performs fellatio on the male counterpart—and he definitely goes down on her. some things you can't fake.

anyway, the movie, surprisingly, isn't awful (although this is coming from the guy who thought the same thing about "BB"—a film most people would have to be stoned out of their gourds to make it through till the end (which is where the infamous Chloe Sevigny blowjob scene takes place, for those of you who are renting it just for that—go ahead and skip the first hour and a half).

anyway, my point: why is it that indy film can think they can get away with making pornography if they just add a voiceover, mood music or interesting editing? don't get me wrong, I think more and more well-known actresses could benefit by gettin' down and dirty (okay, maybe "benefit" isn't the right word); but in the end, there's neary a difference between these art-house NC-17s and a full-blown (no pun intended) porno. and I say to the cast: what, do you think you'll have an easier time breaking the news of your upcoming role to your folks about the chick with the dick in her mouth by emphasizing the fact that there's a much better (arguable) soundtrack to this movie than is featured in "Debbie Does Dallas"? pornography that's artistic is still pornography, isn't it? or are we still trying to push the envelope with what defines pornography? I got news for ya folks, pornography is only defined by Congress, who—as proven time and time again from McCarthy to Ashcroft to Lieberman—doesn't know dick about art, or, for that matter, pornography. and any film that features an actor/actress actually performing fellatio/cunnilingus is a porno, no matter what packaging you put it in.

not that there's anything wrong with that. to quote the late great Bill Hicks, "I LOVE pornography."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't knock the Debbie Does Dallas soundtrack! It's pretty groovy!