THE BESTEST GAME EVER!!!!!!

In case you have been hiding under a rock or have been having nonstop sex with a Brazilian transsexual hooker in a crack den for the past 3 weeks, Sunday features a regular season matchup that truly is THE BEST GAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pats vs. Colts. Battle of UnBeatens. Heartthrob vs. HeadKnob. Saintly Coach vs. Devilish Coach. Fat Fuck Coaches vs Baby Faced Coach Impersonators (Seriously, this guy calls the plays for New England? Seriously?)

But the most important reason why this is the GREATEST GAME EVER BAR NONE is that Dr. Z has done a position by position breakdown, which he usually only does for the Super Bowl. So what does Dr. Z have to tell us that we don't know already?

The Colts offensive line, with the exception of one player and one game, has played together the whole season.

For real? Guess what? The Steelers have a mediocre to crappy O-Line and they've played together all season too.

Wes Welker might be the greatest hot receiver, or blitz-control guy, who ever lived.

Heady, heady praise for a kid who basically is a white Troy Brown, who did everything Welker has done, and more, and over more than 1.5 seasons. But the thing with Troy Brown? He wasn't hot enough. He doesn't look like Vince Vaughans retarded younger brother.

On Adalius Thomas: know they're very proud of themselves for grabbing an obvious Belichick-type Jack of all trades from the Baltimore system, and he'll make a key play here and there, but he'll disappear, too, as he did against the Skins.

Did he even have to show up?

Vince Wilfork (75) Wild and a bit out of control when he first came into the league, he has become a master technician at the nose position.

Let's see, do I have all my craftsman tools here? Massive meaty forearms? Check. Battering Ram of a Head? Check. Stubby Legs and Oceanic Ass That I Need a Customized Terlet for? Check. Bloated Belly that serves as a third leg? Check. All set then, you technician you.

So there you have it. This is a game for the ages, where the Master Technician Nose Tackle Vince Wilfork will not be able to exploit the Offensive Line of the Colts because They Are All In This Together Best Friends Forever, while Adaliaus Thomas could well end up on the side of a milk carton and Wes Welker will control the blitzes of a team that never blitzes.

Special Preview Here: